This is a repost blog.  

Original posts by tangotango112 in r/MaliciousCompliance on reddit.

8 Jan 2023: I didn’t have to work overtime? OK, Roger that

I am a mariner. My position on the ship is Mate. Below me are my deck hands who are responsible for the labor work like painting, grinding, maintenance, line handling, cargo ops, etc. Above me is the chief mate (second in command) and the Captain (in charge of everyone and the responsible individual for the entire ship). We are officers and we do the planning for navigation, ship handling, training, payroll, etc. I work for a private company that pays me by a day rate which is a 12 hour work day. I work one month on and one month off.

Like most industries, we are undermanned, can’t hire enough to fill all positions. Now this ship I work is even harder to crew up, mainly because of the captain. He’s got a notorious reputation for being a jerk. So people find all sorts of ways not to come to this boat. And if they do, they only work one tour and never come back. I joined this ship back in May and for the last 7 months it’s been kinda hell working for this Captain. He’s a narcissist, condescends everyone, insults everyone, works us like slaves, never thanks us, just an all around class act. You know these type of bosses. They never let up, they push you to the limit and just makes you hate work and life.

With that said, I’ve been working 15 sometimes 18 hours a day because we’re short handed. I’m doing all sorts of work that’s not in my job description. I had to do cargo ops, handle mooring lines, maintenance, all in addition to my Mate duties. I’m a very hard worker, a team player, and never say no to work.

The thing is we don’t get paid for any more than 12 hours of work a day. So all those extra hours i worked are unpaid. It burns me and I freaking hate it but like I said I’m a team player, I want to make sure it’s safe for my guys, the operations get completed, and clients stay happy so I do what is asked of me. I’m also the cook (we don’t have an official cook on board because this is considered a small crew and small ship), i was cooking lunch every day for my crew and many dinners too. Generally you’re on your own for breakfast and dinner. I was so good at my job that he and the chief mate passed their duties on to me so they can just sit back and relax. Chief mates and captains have a lot of paperwork to do but I was handling that for them too until up to this point.

Well one day, I’m just completely burnt out with these 15-18 hour days. I get into a discussion about how the captain and company is stealing my wages because I’m working more than 12 hours a day. I asked him if I could show up to watch an hour later than my schedule duty (the engine dept does this when they require their folks to work overtime the day before). I work a swing shift which overlaps both the captain and chief mate so it’s not unheard of or uncommon to let guys show up late especially if they worked more than 12 hours the previous day. Well once I asked to sleep in an extra hour, all hell broke loose with him insulting me, calling me names, being racist, nobody wants to work anymore blah blah blah, just nasty inappropriate behavior that shouldn’t happen but happens all the time in this industry. He then finishes the verbal beat down with a cocky eating grin, you know Mate, you never HAD to work overtime. You could have just said no” I was steaming at this point but I just replied with, OK Roger that” I called it a day and went to bed. Cue malicious compliance.

The next day I’m already on watch and he comes on to work and asks me what’s for lunch. nothing, I’m not cooking today” did you pull out anything from the freezer at least” nope” so nobody had any real food for lunch. They all made sandwiches and ate chips instead.

Later that day, hey I need you to go finish painting the rescue boat. The guys are busy with other projects and I want this done today” well capt, since it’s not in my job description, I respectfully decline” we get into a little arguing but he concedes. The very next day he pulls the same thing what’s for lunch” nothing” what do we have that we can cook real fast” I don’t know capt, I didn’t check, cooking isn’t my job remember so I don’t plan on doing it he rushes to cook some whole chickens in an hour and they came out raw and really ticked off the crew. Nobody touched his food. This routine lasted a whole week until it was the end of my tour and I got to go home.

I returned to duty a month later and he thought I would forget or let it slide. I indeed did not forget or let it slide. For the the next entire month long tour the capt had to do the cooking because the chief mate and I refused to do it and he complained because he had to wake up early and prep food. I was already doing all that when I was cooking. I just didn’t complain. I enjoy cooking. But I was willing to die on this hill, I wasnt letting it go. I refused to let him win this battle. I did not cook one meal. To be petty, I made myself delicious food, did not share it, I refused any work that wasn’t in my job description. What’s he gonna do? Write me up on disciplinary for not doing someone else’s job that isn’t mine or for not working past 12 hours? Not happening. Understand, at this point I was physically tired, burnt out, and mentally drained from doing everybody’s job and taking crap from him.

I asked for a transfer to another ship but got denied so I’m still stuck on this ship with this Captain but now he knows where I stand. And I haven’t cooked or did extra duties since. And that’s what you get for taking advantage of a good worker and always insulting me.

Edit: I forgot to add that one of the reasons I for not getting a transfer is because nobody is easily willing to come here and work with this guy. One day during that hitch I came up to the bridge and overheard him talking to the assignment manager about keeping me here permanently because he’s a good Mate, he’s prior military, and he can cook” blah blah blah. I was suppose to be a floater, filling in positions on different boats as needed which is what I like. Well, that worked out well.

Edit2: There’s something you have to understand. We do cargo operations that involve rigging cables to cargo on our deck for offload/onload, it can be very dangerous at times. This evolution requires at least two people and because office management sucks with manning, sometimes we don’t have two people to do it. I care about the safety of my guys/girls. I would never leave them hanging like that and that’s why I’ll go down on deck and help. I’ve been in that situation many times and it sucks. I do it for my guys not for the captain or the company. It doesn’t make it fair or enjoyable but I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if one of my guys got injured or killed because I let them work alone. The other things like cooking, captains paperwork, maintenance, engineering, I continue to refuse those duties.

21 Aug 2023: UPDATE

After escalating my complaints about Captain Suka, and threatening with formal complaints to HR and higher, the coordinator (another lazy incompetent suka), I was finally assigned to a new boat. Yes! Finally, A new assignment! So I get to the new ship, I go to work for this new captain and crew and applied my new learned lesson of Act your Wage” (thanks redditor Metraxix). I did not cook, I didn’t do any extra duties outside my job description, I worked ONLY my 12 hours and nothing more. I knew a couple guys on this new boat so I got along with them easily. Things are looking good.

But after 1 week of being there my coordinator transfered me to another ship because some Captain Bylat pulled rank and wanted to work an extra 2 weeks. So I get kicked off this one and go to another boat. A worse boat. I spent 2 more weeks there and it was just more bullshit. This Captain Ron was pencil whipping training, drills, safety meetings, etc and I wanted no part of this BS.

It was at this point I had enough with this company. They were suppose to be one of the biggest and baddest outfits in the industry but really it was being managed like shit. My mental health declined. I went home, took my scheduled 1 month off and I decided to not come back to work for this company. I ended up taking an extra month off to focus on my mental health, spend some more time with family. Had some old Veteran friends come visit for a while to catch up and shoot the shit.

I reached out to some friends that work in the same profession and got some leads that landed me a new job immediately with a small outfit. With my newly updated resume and experience I was offered even more money than the last company. I do much less work, with less stress, with a chill crew, closer to my home, no morale beatings, verbal abuse, did I mention I’m getting paid more? Fuck yeah.

I am fortunate that the ship industry right now is in big demand for workers so jobs are plentiful, pay is competitive and I’m getting into the wind farm industry so we have contracts for a while which means there’s gonna be plenty of work to go around.


February 10, 2024 overtime work employment

Image post: I have no fashion sense and I’m job hunting today and tomorrow (places like Subway and Chiles). Anything I can improve on for tomorrow?

This is a repost blog.  

Click through for images

Original posts by u/StephentheBassbox in r/malefashionadvice on reddit.

3 May 2012:  I have no fashion sense and I’m job hunting today and tomorrow (places like Subway and Chiles). Anything I can improve on for tomorrow? (Not in the picture: Im also wearing black socks and black dress shoes)

4 May 2012: UPDATE

Thanks to everyone who gave advice yesterday! I got a job interview with McDonalds today :D Under yalls advice, heres what I’m wearing: Blue button-up, rolled up sleeves, v-neck underneath the shirt, khakis, black shoes/socks/belt

Thanks everyone!

February 8, 2024 fashion job interviews

I emailed the devs of my game hyperfixation about how much I love their game

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/CrumbsThatWasAce on r/autism on Reddit

15 Nov 2023 I emailed the devs of my game hyperfixation about how much I love their game… 🫣

Let’s see if they respond or not. I poured my soul into the email and it was pretty anxiety inducing but hey I did it

16 Nov 2023: UPDATE

Guess what… they responded :D

One of the two devs responded to my email saying it was really heartening to read first thing in the morning :) he also mentioned that he’s been designing more plushies for the game, and that they’re always be a future for the game with fans like me.

That made my day 🥰 I would hang it up on my wall if I could! I love this game and the devs are awesome! :D

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February 4, 2024 autism computergames hyperfixation gamedevelopment

My Boyfriend is a Nurse

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/mybfisanurs on r/relationships on Reddit

15 Oct 2015: I [30F] am a doctor. My boyfriend [29M] of 1.5 yrs is a nurse. My dad’s [50M] wife [48F] of 4 years continuously makes fun of my boyfriend for his profession and I’m tired of it.

My parents had me really young, and my mom split when I was 3, so it’s only been me and my dad. My dad is an only child, and his dad died when he was in school and my grandmother passed when I was 10. My dad is truly one of the most incredible people ever; he raised me more or less on his own and sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today.

I met my boyfriend my last year of residency; he was a nurse (in a different unit) and we met in the cafeteria. One thing led to another, and here we are. I’m a hospitalist in a different hospital now but he still works at the same place. We moved in together about three months ago and I truly do see myself spending the rest of my life with this man.

Anyway–my dad didn’t date at all when I was growing up, really, but when I was in college he met Cindy (a divorcee with no kids) through a friend of his. They started dating around 10 years ago and got married 4 years ago. I’ve always gotten along with Cindy; I consider her a very close older friend (I was simultaneously maid of honor/best man” at their wedding) and I think she’s a wonderful partner for my dad.

My dad LOVES my boyfriend, they often hang out without me (which is totally cool) and Cindy did as well, at first at least. For the past six months or so she’s made some really pejorative comments about my boyfriend being a nurse, him being the woman” in the relationship (FWIW, my boyfriend is 6′4, muscled, bearded…he’s basically the epitome of masculinity) just because he’s a nurse. My bf laughed off the comments at first, and explained why he went into nursing rather than being a doctor (nurses work more with patients than doctors do, and he’s a very nurturing person by nature), but Cindy has just not let up. i really don’t think my bf is bothered by this, but I definitely am. I think it’s disrespectful and her archaic views of men’s/women’s work” are not appreciated. I can tell my dad gets pissed off about it too; once he told Cindy to just shut up (in gentler terms) when she kept “joking” about it. She always defends herself as just joking” but like………it’s not fucking funny. I’ve talked to my dad about it and he agrees that it isn’t cool, but he just goes on about how she doesn’t mean any harm or whatever. My boyfriend is adamant that it doesn’t bother him but still. I just think it’s so disrespectful. How do I talk to Cindy about this in a way so she’ll stop? Because honestly if it continues, I’m going to cut back on spending time/seeing her, even though it’ll definitely hurt my dad (which is something I don’t want to do)

tl;dr: My dad’s wife makes fun of my boyfriend for being a nurse; how do I talk to her about this without ruining our relationship?

20 Nov 2015: UPDATE

My first post blew up in a way I didn’t expect it to, but I wanted to thank you all for your advice. You gave me a lot to think about so when it came time to talk to Cindy, I wouldn’t trip over my words or anything.

I took her out to lunch yesterday (Sunday), and just very matter-of-factly told her how I was tired of her disparaging my bf, how I was tired of her putting down nursing as a profession and dismissing it just as women’s work”, and finally told her that despite her insistence that she was just joking, I found her jokes” offensive and was done with hearing them. I made it very clear that my boyfriend hadn’t sent me to defend him but that I was the one who was offended and tired of it.

She started to cry a little (which was alarming) and broke down and told me why she was doing what she was doing. Apparently, long story short, in her first marriage, Cindy’s income was more than double of that of her husband. After a year or so of marriage, he quit his job and ended up just mooching off of her. He became incredibly emotionally abusive and ruined her financially until she was able to get out and leave him. Basically–she was nervous that the same would happen to me, and she hoped that her jokes” would sway my opinion enough to leave my bf.

I was kind of ??????? about her explanation, but she told me that she knew the jokes were childish and offensive, but she didn’t know how else to go about it. She said that I was the closest thing to a daughter she had, and that she loves me very much and that she felt awful about everything.

I started getting teary at this, and I told her that the jokes especially hurt from her because she’s someone I care deeply for, and she apologized profusely for having offended/hurting me. She said she really thought my boyfriend was a nice guy and that she wanted to get to know him better, which thrilled me.

I went home, told my boyfriend (who didn’t know why I was gone, I wanted to be covert about it), and he was thrilled. He told me that secretly he WAS upset about the jokes, as he knew that Cindy was someone I cared a lot for, but put on a game face because he didn’t want to drive a wedge in between us. He told me he loved me, and thanked me for standing up for him, and said he’s looking forward to getting to know Cindy better too! And my dad is over the moon as well :)

Thank you for your advice, all! <3 Communication really is key.

tl;dr: Cindy and I talked, she apologized, my boyfriend is happy, my dad is happy, and my family is the best :)

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February 2, 2024 dating nursing toxicmasculinity relationships

I just washed my daughter’s phone. She died in 2018.

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/flowabout on r/offmychest on Reddit

30 May 2020: I just washed my daughter’s phone. She died in 2018.

I am so fucking upset and so MAD at myself. My husbands phone was all messed up so he has been using our late daughter’s phone. I havent been able to bring myself to cancel her number so when his died, he started using hers. Hes been so careful with it. Today I did laundry and I swear i checked the pockets but when my husband put them in the dryer, he found her phone.

All her pictures. All her texts. She was 8 and died of cancer, we got the phone for her when she was diagnosed. She only lived 6 months after diagnosis.

I didnt back anything up. I dont know why. I wasnt ready, I guess. I am so mad at myself and there is nothing I can do. I am so sad

30 May 2020: UPDATE

About a month ago, I posted about putting my late daughter’s phone through the wash. She passed away in 2018 after diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. She was only 8 years old.

I was absolutely devastated at the time, and you all were so kind, and really helped me calm down that night. After taking the advice from people here, I put it in rice and didn’t touch it for over a month. I am so happy to report that I tried it for the first time today, and the phone works perfectly! All pictures and data are there. I am backing it all up today! I am so happy to have a little piece of her back.

I hope this brought someone a smile today, I know it makes me smile thinking about all the people out there finding a bit of joy in memory of my sweet angel daughter.

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January 31, 2024 grief grieving children death technology phone

My neighbor is mad I am legally allowed to smoke weed.

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/colliewolliee on r/trees on Reddit

11 Aug 2023: My neighbor is mad I am legally allowed to smoke weed.

Weed is now legal recreationally in my state, yay! We’re one of the states that allows public smoking, unless a town/city has ordinances against it (my town doesn’t).

I was smoking in my front porch the other day, happy as can be that I can smoke and not feel worried about being seen. Then my neighbor comes out, sees me, and goes off. She starts screaming to her husband that the state is gonna go to shit now because of legal weed, saying I shouldn’t be allowed to smoke in my porch.

I just laughed and pretended like she wasn’t there. She wanted to come yell at me, but her husband told her no and to leave it alone because it’s legal and they can’t do anything about it.

Our poor children are gonna grow up thinking weed is okay!!”

Like, c’mon lady 😂🙄

The next day, she saw me smoking again and decided to walk over to give me a lecture on why weed is bad and how sad she is that I’m not choosing to be more discreet. She said she was gonna call the cops, so I simply explained the law to her and told her she might wanna look it up. So she did, which made her more mad. She didn’t say anything else, just walked back to her house.

Now I hear her in her house screaming and crying about how fucked up the state is, saying she wants to move states immediately.

Why is this lady having a full blown panic attack over me smoking some green in my fucking porch? 🤣

UPDATE: Her husband walked over this morning to talk to me!

He told me that they decided to look up some more stuff about weed last night to understand more about it. I guess her parents raised her to think weed was a hard drug as if it were meth or heroin.

He then asked me if it was alright that she come talk to me later, I told him that was fine, so we shall see what she says later today 😆

UPDATE #2: I just wanted to add this before the update - The morning she saw me smoking was when I was using my bong, so it was quite obvious it was weed 😆

Anyways, back to the update! She came over to my yard to talk this evening.

She apologized to me right away. Told me she was embarrassed, and said she was raised to think it was a hard drug, so she did research (thanks to her husband) and realized it wasn’t as bad as her parents made it seem.

I asked her if she could smell it from her house, and she told me she has never smelt it and thanked me for keeping my windows shut and for not smoking in front of the kids. I told her I’d continue to keep em’ shut and smoke out of sight, but she told me (shockingly) that I’m allowed to do what I want and I should be able to open them. (I’m still gonna keep them shut tbh lol)

She just didn’t want her kids to see me and think it is okay to do, but she promised she was going to teach her kids what its used for, when it should be used, and who can use it. She understands now that it isn’t bad. She said she doesn’t necessarily like it and needs time to adjust, but at least she understands.

I said No pressure, but if you ever want to try it, I’m willing to share.” She laughed and told me she’d keep that in mind 😁

I did not expect it to turn out this way at all, but I’m glad she came and apologized, and that we talked it out. And who knows, maybe one day she’ll come ask me for a rip, we’ll see! Thanks for everyone’s comments!

19 Aug 2023: UPDATE

GUYS! My neighbor smoked with me for her first time last night!!

She asked to come by because she had more questions, I answered them, and then I said My offer still stands”, and then she told me she’d take a little hit off my bowl.

My god, this woman coughed SO HARD😂 Immediately she looked at me and said (while coughing up a lung) How could I have been against this my whole life?! I haven’t felt this good in a long time!” We talked some more, she explained more about her childhood. And it made me quite sad for her, it explained so much about why she reacted the way she did.

Then before she left, I asked her if she wanted some edibles to try. She hesitated but said That sounds fun”, I gave her a tiny, tiny dose and told her to let me know how that goes for her😁

I’m so glad things turned out this way! Hopefully we have more smoke seshes together!

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January 29, 2024 weed smoking neighbors