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WIBTA if I told my brother that I know about his sexual preference?

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/ver03255 on r/AmitheAsshole on Reddit

May 15 2020: WIBTA if I told my brother that I know about his sexual preference?

I am a 24-year-old straight male and my brother is 17 years old. We grew up in a deeply Catholic household, so our parents are very…ummm…traditional. It came to a point where when I was watching Game of Thrones and there was a gay sex scene, my dad asserted that we never watch that show again.

Fast forward to yesterday. My brother usually borrows my iPad to do some schoolwork. He naturally used a messaging app to talk with his classmates, but he often forgets to log out (no biggie, I just log it out when it’s my turn to use it). However, last night, I saw a notification I didn’t mean to read. It said, “good night, babe!” followed by kiss and heart emojis.

This was from a guy who we thought was just his best friend.

Now I know he could be gay or bi or whatever, and I don’t have any problems with that. I also respect his privacy, and I totally understand that I should not out him if he’s not yet ready.

However, with all the news about the mental health of teenagers lately, I’m afraid of what keeping this to himself would do to him. Also, because of my parents’ disposition about these things, I’m afraid that my brother won’t ever have the courage or be comfortable enough to ever open up to us.

I just want him to know that he has an ally in me and that I’ll love him no matter what.

We’re a close family, but we’re not vocal about emotional things. I’ve never said “I love you” to anyone at home, we just know it. That’s why no matter how subtle or casual I try to talk to him about this, it would surely be a big moment for us and he might just feel really unsafe and/or uncomfortable.

So, WIBTA if I told him I know about his sexual preference?

EDIT: I apologize for using “preference.” I admit that I am not well-versed in this matter, and I’ve just started reading up on how to handle this carefully and sensitively.

Verdict: NTA… but don’t out him

1 June 2020: UPDATE My brother came out to me!

Many people messaged me asking for an update, so here it is.

So, most of you told me that I should just voice out my support for the LGBT community instead of directly talking to my brother about his sexuality. This was very helpful as I did not want him to feel pressured to come out.

When I wrote my original post, I was already watching Schitt’s Creek, which had non-straight main characters. This was really convenient because I could simply say remarks like “Awww, they make a really nice couple” and “Wow, I wish my relationship with my gf was like that.”

I also asked my bro about Pride month (he has been going to marches as an ally for the past few years with his out friends). I asked him “Hey, what’s their plan for Pride month during quarantine? Too bad they can’t hold the march, I was thinking of joining.”

I didn’t really know how to be subtle, okay.

When our parents went grocery shopping last weekend, that’s when he told me. “You already know, don’t you?” I knew what he was asking but I tried to play dumb. “You know, that I’m gay, right?”

I just said yes, told him about the iPad incident, and hugged him. He cried and asked me not to tell our parents, which of course I agreed to. He then asked if this changes anything between us, to which I replied “Of course, now you have to give me better fashion advice!” (I make jokes when I’m emotional, okay)

I told him he has my support no matter what, and that I can help him come out to our parents when he’s ready. I also told him that he and his boyfriend (which he confirmed) are a great couple, then I reminded him that they should always be “safe” (Giving sex advice to my brother was VERY awkward).

That’s it. He’s still annoying as hell, because, you know, he’s my brother, but I’ve never seen him happier, and I can really feel that a burden has been lifted off his shoulders.

Thanks, everyone!

EDIT: I just realized that it’s now June! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, EVERYONE!

EDIT2: Wow, this kinda blew up! I was just doing what any caring brother would do, and I’m glad it has a positive effect on other people. I was raised with values to love and accept everyone, regardless of gender/sexuality, so that will never change especially for my bro. Again, thank you for the overwhelming support!

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June 1, 2024 AITA LGBT+ siblings

Won property at an auction and auctioneers expect us to pay £4,800 buyer’s premium (that was not disclosed in their Terms & Conditions)

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/SnooCats6742 on subreddit r/legaladviceuk on Reddit

19 Dec 2023: Won property at an auction and auctioneers expect us to pay £4,800 buyer’s premium (that was not disclosed in their Terms & Conditions)

Pretty much what the title says.

No mention of a premium anywhere in any of the legal documents associated with the property etc.

After a bit of digging, I found a random page on their website meant to give advice on how property auctions work etc and how buying through them works. The buyer’s premium is mentioned on there as £4,800 minimum.

But surely this is unenforceable since it was not stipulated at any time? My very limited interpretation of the law is that such a provision would be considered as ‘unfair’ per Regulation 5(1) of the Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations 1999. But then again I have no legal background whatsoever.

What can we do legally about this?

Will be speaking to a solicitor tomorrow anyway but would like to get some idea of what to expect beforehand.

Thank you!

EDIT: Forgot to say we’re in England.

2 Jan 2024: Update

I posted on here a while ago about a property my husband and I had won at auction and the auctioneers’ undiclosed buyer’s premium of £4,800. The original post can be found here.

I have heard back from our solicitor. Their opinion was, in short, that we would not be obliged to pay the buyer’s premium, though non-payment would leave us open to contract cancellation. However, their advice was that we do have in case as we have done our due dilligence and there is no contractual obligation to pay the auctioneer’s buyer’s premium fee of £4,800.

I just wanted to let everyone know what the solicitor’s legal advice was. I’m awfully glad to have been right on this.

All the best to you & happy new year!

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February 26, 2024 law fees auctions bidding

Job Fair Tomorrow

This is a repost blog.  

Original posts by Adamcapps08 in r/malefashionadvice on reddit.

11 Apr 2014: Job Fair tomorrow any and all advice welcome (click through for image)

A selection of advice:

“Please burn that tie.”

“Take it off first.”

“Thank you. Looking at the picture, just giving it a quick glance I noticed that the tie was in a terrible shape and doesn’t fit you. You need a slimmer tie. You should also look into getting a shirt that fits you better, more slimmed down. The pants .. well, burn them along with the tie. They are a terrible fit on you. Or to quote my girlfriend who’s a stylist … “burn that outfit and trim the beard, then get new clothes” (not necessarily in that order). Get up early and go to the nearest mens clothing store, have them pick out something new for you that fits you for, say a job interview, and get that. I’m terribly sorry if you can’t afford that. If you thin that’s too expensive, get a cheap but well fitting sports jacket from a mens clothing store (you should be able to find one for around $50-100 that’s a decent fit) and just wear a nice white T-shirt under that. Also invest in a nice pair of dark blue jeans that you can wear every day. Not only will you look ok at the fair tomorrow, but you will also have started to build a better basic wardrobe :) Sorry for the rambling, and being a bit incohearant, I’ve been out drinking with the student union for a recruitment /job seeking event.“

“Thanks for the many suggestions, MFA. I’m going to head out and look for a new outfit and report back while at the store. I’ll most likely also be shaving and possibly go for a hair cut.

Busy afternoon.”

11 Apr 2014: UPDATE (click through for image)

Thanks for the TONS of feed back I got in my last post. I know that the sleeves are a little long on the jacket but considering the short amount of time I had it was the best I could do. The only one that fit and had sleeves that were not too long was too short (so it didn’t exactly fit.)

I definitely feel more confident about tomorrow now.

February 20, 2024 employment fashion male fashion

Life Brought My Family to a Sheep Farm

This is a repost blog.  

Original posts by u/medium2slow in r/farming on reddit.

7 May 2020: Life brought my family to a sheep farm for the summer. Tempted to sell our home and buy it.

The owner Airbnb’s his farm house and because of a house fire of our own, we are here for the foreseeable future while we rebuild. Turns out his farms for sale. It is 86 acres and he’s selling because He wants to retire. My wife has been out helping with a couple lamb, bottle feed etc. With a farmhand who boards her cute little lambs here. The owner is only doing feed lot stuff right now. I have a high paying job in the city but my wife doesn’t work. She loves it here. We both have ZERO experience in farming. The owner has been very forward with numbers and the work involved and said he’d be happy to help for a year or so if we bought it. Just the feed lot alone would make sense. It’s not much income but it’s more than my wife makes… $0. The cost of running the farm is about $7000 less than our house a year. (Property taxes, the house is on propane farm on natural gas) it needs a new septic, the foundation leaks a bit. So the house is a fixer upper.

I’m nervous to pull the trigger and we wouldn’t be able to do anything until the rebuild. Convince me not to do this.

EDIT: also convince me to do it. And sheep related advice would be appreciated.

24 May 2020: Not necessarily “HOME” improvement… starting to plan a replacement for these barn doors.

These barn doors are old and failing. Huge sag and a fight to close. The opening is about 10’ by about 16’ or 18’

I am thinking I should reduce the door size a little by framing the opening with 6x6 attach it too the concrete floor on either side with a bracket. The door would be built with a Z style door 4 hinges, lag bolted.

What do you all think?

https://imgur.com/gallery/jKE53MF

5 Jun 2020: Farm Dog Friday: ruffles tuckered out from protecting the flock today!

(Click through for picture of Good Boy)

14 Jun 2020: Update on wanting to buy a sheep farm 

Well we’ve pulled the trigger and got the ball rolling. 93 Ewe and 4 Ram. Suffolk. Here’s my new family!

https://imgur.com/gallery/f97dBm6

February 18, 2024 sheep farming real estate

One year, one outfit

This is a repost blog.  

Original posts by thisstylishlife in r/malefashionadvice on reddit.

Note:  EMF = Expensive Male Fashion

7 Apr 2014: One Year, One Outfit a 365 Day Wardrobe

recently wrote an article about wearing ten pieces of clothing and only these ten pieces for an entire year. I have to credit /u/tablloyd for getting me thinking about this topic which started as a hypothetical exploration into an ultra-minimalist wardrobe. The article has started to garner some real attention from a couple of the manufacturers and with enough support from them I am willing to undertake this challenge myself.

I’ve picked out items that all work together and could be worn in different combinations to fit various weather conditions and levels of formality. When worn together this outfit would allow for enough warmth in all but the coldest of winter conditions and except for weddings and funerals I could get away with wearing these in any other setting I might encounter.

Laundry would obviously be a concern, so technical and naturally odour resistant fabrics like wool would allow me to go at least a couple of days between washes.

If this goes ahead, here are the ten pieces of clothing that I would wear for an entire year in infographic form. (because we love that shit)

Tops

Bottoms

Outerwear

Footwear

Accessories I would also add the following outside of my ten items:

(having more than one pair of underwear and socks may be essential)

  • Gloves
  • Toque
  • Scarf
  • Tie
  • Handkerchief

Some of this stuff leans toward EMF price ranges, however if I’m going to be wearing it for an entire year it better feel great and be made well. If this goes ahead I’ll post frequent updates to let you know how my experimental foray into minimalism is going.

Edit: Need to mention that I don’t actually own this stuff yet other than the Barbour, socks, and underwear. If/when I go ahead with this I’ll be sure to post full reviews of each of the items. It would also give an idea of how these items hold up in an accelerated timeframe.

2 Jun 2014: One Year, One Outfit has begun

A month ago I posted my hypothetical year-long wardrobe. Theory has become reality and so here it is my one outfit for the year.

The idea behind this was to curate a collection of some of the best, most versatile clothes in each category, while being able to meet the demands of various social situations and weather conditions. I’m not advocating that everyone should do this sort of thing and this list is not prescriptive. Based on your life, personal style, and budget you may obviously make very different choices. Through this year I want to showcase some of the versatility of these clothes and support the idea that we can buy less and get more.

From head-to-toe, here’s what I’ll be wearing til June 1st, 2015:

Note: there’s a couple of extra special things in the mail that I don’t want to announce until I make sure they fit, but let’s just say I hope it doesn’t rain before they arrive.

Some of the selections were based on what was available at the time of ordering, so forgive my green shirt. I think it’s kind of fun and I’m going to roll with it.

I’ve also come up with a few rules for my challenge to help me stay on track:

  1. Unless it will endanger my safety (ie. scuba diving/climbing everest) or result in guaranteed destruction of my clothes (ie. painting/climbing everest) I will wear only the clothes outlined as part of my challenge.
  2. Other than socks and underwear (due to sanitary reasons), I have no multiples of the rest of the clothes in my wardrobe. This will likely result in accelerated wear and tear.
  3. If, due to No. 2, my clothes wear out before the completion of my challenge I will attempt, to the best of my abilities (or my tailor’s abilities,) to fix or mend my items to make them last for the remainder of time.
  4. As I’ve completely fabricated these rules, I also reserve the right to break them. Namely, I plan on adding a couple of other items to my wardrobe list to suit weather and situations. (Essentially I’ll need a toque, scarf, and gloves for when winter hits and maybe a pair of flip-flops for the beach).

Let me know if you think I’ve missed anything. I’ll be posting relevant updates and reviews here as well as on EMF and GYW, you can also follow along on my blog or through various social media for more info and pics.

Day one went pretty smooth, only 364 more to go.

Edit Thanks everyone for all of the feedback. You guys are awesome, I hope this is as entertaining for you guys as it will be for me. I fixed the boxer brief link and here’s a link to my site since someone asked, though it’s not hard to find.

2nd edit Yes, I realize it is not technically “one outfit” as I have added enough clothes to swim, workout, run, and keep me warm in the winter. I agree my title is misleading, but it has a nice ring to it and I’m sticking with it. Thanks to everyone who pointed out that I don’t understand the literal meaning of one :)

14 Aug 2014: One Outfit Update - life in 10 items of clothing 

It’s been two and a half months since I started my One Outfit challenge of wearing only 10 items of clothing for the year. For some background, here is my original post. Now that I’ve had a chance to experience a little I wanted to give you guys an update on how things have gone thus far.

Some crazy stuff has happened including an interview with CNN where I mentioned MFA and EMF as being a big part of the inspiration in doing this. Below I’ve tried to outline some of my thoughts on having less clothing.

Day-to-day life

  • In general this hasn’t been too tough or too different. I don’t have to think about what I’m going to wear in the morning, but other than that my limited wardrobe hasn’t prevented me from doing anything. Fit pic.

Wet Weather Gear

Beach vacation

  • I was apprehensive about how this would work, especially only having 1 pair of shorts for swimming and casual wear. Outlier’s New Ways worked really well and dried quick enough to wear all day.
  • Laundry was a bit of a challenge being away from washing machines, but I just washed in the sink with a bar of laundry soap and then line dried over night. Being limited to two t-shirts in a hot climate I did have to wash every second night, this took a bit of time, but not so much that I ever missed out on relaxing.
  • I was able to pack extremely light, which meant carry-on only and saved money on the checked baggage fees and lugging around a large suitcase.

Formal Night

  • There was a formal night at one point during our vacation and, although I was far from the most casually dressed person, I would have liked to have had a blazer and tie. This is the only time I’ve felt underdressed in my 1 Outfit, but I can see this possible situation cropping up on occasion.

Wedding

  • I was a groomsman in a friend’s wedding and did have to step out of my 1 Outfit temporarily to fit with the dress code. It was a very casual wedding and I still kept somewhat true to my wardrobe by wearing a tan pair of Outlier’s chinos.

Versatility in clothing

  • In the past I’ve tended to be the type of person that always has multiple sets of clothes. Nice denim, still looks nice but I won’t be upset if it get’s ruined denim, general work denim, dirty work/painting denim, you get the idea.
  • If I packed for a vacation I would have outfits for multiple hypothetical situations: what if the weather turns, what if I decide to wear black shoes and belt, what if I go out for a fancy dinner, what if I have to ride a horse.
  • I wouldn’t advise changing oil in your suit, but one thing I’ve realized from this is that most clothing is pretty versatile for day-to-day life and my pants, boots, and shirt work just as well for going on a day hike as they do for heading out to dinner.

Things I’ve missed

  • Wearing denim - while Outlier’s 60/30′s are some of the most comfortable pants I’ve ever worn I do miss the feel and weight of denim.
  • Dressier warm weather wear - my only collared shirt is long sleeved and somewhat warm so I wouldn’t have minded having a lighter weight or short sleeve collared shirt for hot days in the city.

Wear

Well, this post has run a little longer than intended. Feel free to ask me any questions or share your thoughts.

3 Jun 2015: 1 Year 1 Outfit - all done!

June 1st marked the end of my 1 Year 1 Outfit experiment where I set out to wear the most minimal wardrobe I could conceive of.

It started out here on Reddit so it’s fitting to finish up here with a final post. I meant to do more regular updates throughout the year, but my free time being what it is with a toddler running around the house, nonexistent, that didn’t really happen.

The idea behind the clothes I chose was to maximize my versatility for different events throughout the year, be comfortable in any weather I might face, and try to be somewhat incognito about wearing the same thing everyday.

My full outfit for the year, along with workout gear, swimwear, outerwear, and footwear.

  1. Outlier 60/30 Chinos
  2. Outlier New Way Shorts
  3. Outlier Merino Crew Neck
  4. Outlier Merino V-Neck
  5. Outlier Merino/Co Pivot Shirt
  6. Strike Gold Sweatshirt
  7. Apolis Chore Jacket
  8. American Trench Jacket
  9. Strike Mvmt Interval Runners
  10. Viberg Service Boots

I did have a handful of extras that I added and don’t consider as counting towards my 10 item total as they’re accessories and not really stand alone clothing items:

Pics:

Wear and Tear

Other than halloween and a wedding where I was a groomsman these were the only clothes I wore. I was a little worried I would be wearing tatters by the end of the year, but everything held up amazingly well. I popped a couple buttons in the early months and blew a seam on the pocket of my Merino/Co Pivot from hanging my sunglasses on it, but I fully expected to get near a crotch blowout or wear some decent holes in my merino tees and nothing catastrophic ever happened.

My Apolis Chore aged beautifully, because it’s a rather light jacket I also wore it quite a bit indoors as a sweater.

I also wore my Viberg Boots almost every single day, they are probably getting close to needing new heels, but other than quarterly treatments with Lexol or VSC all I did with these was brush them every couple days.

The American Trench is also an incredibly solid piece of outerwear. I really like all the thoughtful details that they put into this coat like the removable hood, with pockets to stow it and the Ventile fabric is excellent;

Social Challenges

I actually thought I might get more comments from people asking why I’m always wearing the same thing, but no one ever mentioned anything. It doesn’t mean people didn’t think I was weird behind my back, but I just mentioned to someone that I see almost every day that I’m so relieved I can wear new clothes and she hadn’t even noticed that I was always wearing the same thing.

One problem with having extremely versatile clothes is that, while I felt like I fit in everywhere, I never felt like I was ideally dressed. There was plenty of times where I would have preferred to be wearing jeans instead of chinos and same went for more formal events where I wished I had a blazer to wear. Still, looking back, I don’t think I would change any of the items I chose for this, I think this is about as good as I can get for an extremely minimal wardrobe.

Let’s talk about the weather

Having so few items to choose from, I designed my wardrobe for the very specific climate I was living in on the west coast of Canada. However, I ended up spending half the year living on the east coast, some time down south on vacation, and a few very cold days in central Canada during the middle of winter. I think this is where the restrictions of having ten items to draw from really became apparent to me.

On the relatively warmer and wetter west coast my layers and rain jacket performed perfectly. When travelling in Central America and the Caribbean meant that about half my wardrobe was useful and wearable and it meant that I was doing laundry in the sink almost nightly.

Warm weather fit

In the colder months on the east coast there were a few weeks where I was wearing every single layer of clothing and multiple socks every time I went outside. Not only was it a ridiculous chore to take the dog for a walk, but I was still pretty uncomfortable.

Cold weather fit

Again, I think I did about as good as I could given the different climates that I faced, but obviously I would need some substantially warmer clothes if I was going to be living in colder climates.

Minimalism in General

I learned a lot over the past year through having a tiny wardrobe. I learned about the versatility of clothes, the durability of well-made items, travelling light, and getting by just fine without spares.

My style actually changed throughout the year from a prep/workwear look to liking casual streetwear without ever changing my clothes. I thought I might actually get bored of looking at fashion throughout the year and wouldn’t buy much considering I couldn’t wear it. But, what ended up happening over the year was that it gave me the chance to slowly build up a new wardrobe and gave me the time to consider my purchases and wait for sales.

I sold off and gave away a huge amount of my old closet and that freed me up to get some new things that I would be excited to wear. I even sold off things that I had bought earlier on in the year as my style preferences changed.

I’m looking forward to living without ridiculous restrictions for awhile and having a little fun with fashion again, though I’m going to hang on to what I learned through the past year and avoid filling my closet with things that I don’t really need or love.

A big thanks to the brands that made this possible:

Outlier, American Trench, Apolis, Strike Movement, Hollows Leather, Archival Clothing, pullWool, Viberg Boot, and Strike Gold.

Thanks to everyone here too for the support!

Giveaway

I am giving away a brand new Apolis Indigo Chore Coat on my site, you can follow the link for details on how to enter. You can also check out my year-end post and my site in general if you’d like to read more about my past year.

It’s been a fun year and I’m happy to answer any questions so AMA below!

Edit: I updated the link for the American Trench Jacket as they have recently revamped their website. Also they have a great looking Ventile bomber on the way that will be worth a look!

Thanks for the gold and thanks for all the great questions, I’ll try to get around to answering any lingering ones over the next day or so.

February 16, 2024 overtime work employment

Pretty little woman don’t have a clue I’m proposing tomorrow

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by u/chilewski on subreddit r/truckers on Reddit

26 Oct 2019: Pretty little woman don’t have a clue I’m proposing tomorrow

(Click through for picture of happy couple)(includes smiles and cowboy hat)

27 October 2019: For those wanting the update, she said yes!

(Click through for picture of ring on hand)

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February 14, 2024 truckers proposals romance couples