My female friend kissed me

This is a repost blog.

Original posts by Reading_Pie on subreddit r/dating on Reddit.

25 Aug 2023: My female friend kissed me and I kissed her back. It made everything awkward. What should I do?

I (24M) don’t know wtf happened yesterday. She (23F) is not exactly my best friend but just a friend. Every students were given some responsibilities for college cultural festival. We (me and she) were given a responsibility for the decoration part. I have helped her in her studies earlier. So, our relationship was very friendly. We were planning some decoration ideas. She is actually very outgoing in nature. She was continuously praising me for my ideas; come on, atleast help me instead of just throwing compliments.

I went to order all the important decorative materials and she also came along with me. So, we were there in university till 8 pm. Some of my classmates were there, but as their part was done, they quickly left. I was also very exhausted and was dreaming about going home. We took permission from our festival authority members and left. She was thanking me for doing all the works and then suddenly kissed me on my lips. I was surprised at the moment and I don’t know why I reflexively kissed her back on her lips and she didn’t resist me. We continued to kiss for almost 2 minutes, honestly it was my first kiss, I loved her smell, our hearts were beating fast and I still can’t believe that I kissed her back. Fortunately there were nobody around us at that late night. At the moment I forgot everything and got lost in the very moment, I was feeling connected to her. Then suddenly I stopped myself and distanced myself from her. I was feeling extremely embarrassed at the moment and she was most likely feeling the same. I somehow told her sorry because everything became awkward between us. She was also continuously saying me sorry. I don’t know what were we doing at the moment. She was blushing a lot, I was feeling very awkward and feeling like I have done wrong and I should not have kissed her back. I didn’t talk to her anymore out of embarrassment and quickly left. I am still feeling guilty for what I did. She is also behaving in very awkward way today and kind of ignoring me. I don’t know what should I do. I feel like our friendship is destroyed now. I want to revive it again. What should I do, I need advice.

27 August 2023: Update

This is an update of an original post as many redditors requested update about the matter. You can check the original post in my profile.

At the first, I want to thank you all who gave me advices and courage to face her.

Our friendship is actually almost 3 years old. So I was terrified when such things happened between us out of nowhere. We kept avoiding each other and didn’t talk much throughout Friday and Saturday. I invited her to a cafeteria today, she accepted my invitation. Initially I was again feeling shy, but she was looking happy (idk how, may be I took too much pressure). We were talking about the upcoming festival plans of university and other random matters. I was still not able to come up with the incident happened that night. I have a bad habit of procrastinating, I was just thinking in mind, I will tell her some time later”. But it’s a never ending loop. Although we enjoyed many things together while we were hanging out and we had dinner at the end.

Finally we headed back towards our home. We were walking together but I noticed she was looking at me several times. May be she wanted me to company her to her home because it was almost 9 pm. She thanked me for coming with her. Finally I accumulated my courage and stated her my opinions about that night. She was blushing like hell at the moment when I stated her about my feelings, her face was all red. I also apologized for pushing her away and explained that I was freaked out the moment. But then she informed me that she already knew that I have crush on her. There was an awkward quietness between us which lasted for almost 10-15 minutes because my brain was blank at the moment. I didn’t know what to say now. After sometime she said that she had a relationship before but her ex cheated her and disrespected/abandoned her. When we reached near her place, she again took the initiative and kissed me. This time we didn’t hesitate it anymore and kept kissing for a longer time because we already know about our feelings. It was most amazing feeling of my life, I got lost in the moment, she held me tight and I can’t really explain the feeling by words. I can only remember that our hearts were beating super fast. Then I told her to share any worries with me if she feels comfortable sharing with me because I feel like she is kind of wounded due to her past relationship. Hope I can provide her necessary emotional support she needs. We said each other good night and left. It was an amazing feeling of my life. I still can’t believe that I did it and it feels like a dream now. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside when I realize that someone loves me this much. Her blushing face was the most amazing thing, she looks very cute when she flusters. OMG, I can’t explain how adorable she is.

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Date
October 23, 2023